Aye, we're back to being Ann Slanders, and everything that implies...
Back by popular demand [cough], it's time for a language lesson! Today, we're going to learn how to say "Bush lied, people died" in Spanish. Or
'mexican' as pResident Bunnypants would call it:
Bush lied, people died: 'Bush minti?, gente muerta.'
Now in German: 'Bush lag, die gestorbenen Leute.'
French: 'Bush s'est trouvé, les gens morts.'
And Dutch: 'De struik loog, stierven de mensen.'
In commemoration of the success of our recent appropriation of Michael 'Savage' Weiner, let's learn how to say "I file lawsuits to make up for the fact that I have a tiny little penis." Here it is in German: Ich archiviere Prozesse, um die Tatsache auszugleichen, daß ich einen
kleinen kleinen Penis habe. In Espanol: 'Clasifío pleitos para compensar el hecho de que tengo un pequeño
pene minúsculo.' Indeed. In French: 'Je classe des procès pour compenser le fait que j'ai un petit pénis
minuscule.'
Ann Slanders' International Headquarters will continue to be Micro Savage for the day. In the meantime, because I am insufferably lazy it's a classic, here's one of Ann Slanders' 'classic' posts...
Dear Ann Slanders:
I have a website and an IQ of 64. How can I increase traffic and attract venture capital?
BC in OK
Dear BC:
Two words: Clinton's Cock. Oooooh, that gave me a shiver. Let's say it again: Clinton's Cock. Mmmm. You just can't go wrong by fishing around inside Bill Clinton's zipper.
If you ever grow tired of Clinton's cock (as if that were possible), then hating liberals is almost as good. FOX and MSNBC were built (erected, if you will) on Clinton's cock and slagging liberals who all hate America. For variety, throw in the occassional bit of rah-rah flag waving and you'll be the next Drudge in no time!
Best of luck, and thanks for reading!
No, I'm not making that last response up. I may have elided a few paragraphs from the source, but Michael Savage really did say "The era of skateboarders is over. The era of grown men riding around on bicycles with their butts in the air is over" in response to September 11, 2001. A truly deep thinker, our Mr. Weiner.
Is there any way you can take over this commie enabling site like you did with http://annslanders.blogspot.com and http://www.blah3.com?
Republicans Exterminating Democrats Need Every Conservative Klansmen's Support
Dear REDNECK:
I don't want to hear about them being brought to justice. I want to hear about carpet bombing! This means more than merely tracking down and arresting individual suspects. Where is the passion? Where is the emotion? Where is the banging on the podium? Where is the pointing of the fingers, saying "we will hunt you down, we will destroy you! All of you and all of yours!" Well let me remind you of something. A new era has begun. The era of skateboarders is over. The era of grown men riding around on bicycles with their butts in the air is over. You are facing your future. And this future is not assured.
Ann Slanders is taking a day off of her rigorous (cough) schedule, so our advice today comes from your friend and mine, Micro Savage, America's most dangerous man with a penis under 1/2".
*Questions are made up, all replies are taken from Michael Savage's columns at NaziMax and other distributors of irrational bigotry.
Dear Micro Savage: I am a fan of yours who only reads your online column. Can you please describe the content of your radio show? Thanks Wannabe Savage Listener
Dear Wannabe: The content is an unbroken stream of hate and chauvinism directed against women, people of color, liberals, immigrants and in particular people of Middle Eastern heritage and people of the Muslim faith. I hope that clarifies things for you. MS
Freepers voice their support for privacy and individual rights: "Kennedy is a senile old fool who ignored the 'how' this case got to the courts, the 'set up' perpetrated by the homos to get this case running the court system. The queers involved (three of them) had been trying to get a Georgia case going on homo marriage. Well, the senile old fart, Kennedy, has made their day!
In queer dens all over America, the homos are laughing their asses off, salivating over their 'victory'. If folks don't realize what's going on, here's a clue: the entire exercise was part of the homo agenda to force their deviant behavior to be protected and given the same right to marriages, etc., equal to the traditional institution of marriage. The homo agenda is to transform this nation into their deviancy play ground.
Frankly, it won't be as difficult as the queers were thinking it would be ... as Kennedy and others have proven for them. Homo marriage is the next case they will seek to push through the putrified court system. Democrats, with their decidely leftist pallor, will empower the deviants even more, all in the name of division and vote raking, and the hell with the nation. See, leftists realize but will not tell you, when they do finally take control of this nation, even if it means corrupting it to the point of mortality, they will then dictate how the nation is to carry on, under their whim regardless of those moldy old 'living, yet senile documents'. The democrat left will make other forms of despotism pale by comparison.
When you sobered up and took your anti-psychotic meds as scheduled, what was your impression of Fox News? Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
I noticed an alarming bias, and I knew this could sink the ship of truth. Surely other administrations have had their friends in high media places. Still, there were many voices and many views of dissent that found their way into the national media. But now we have a growing media blackout of some serious crimes and misdemeanors, all unsolved to the satisfaction of those with critical faculties of reason. Thanks for reading
How have Fox and MSNBC changed the political landscape of America?
Conservative Lady In Texas
Dear, uh, Lady: They have, together, both feminized and homosexualized America to the point where the nation has become passive, receptive and masochistic.
Sometimes I look at pornography at the office, and I get so worked up that I have to go to the bathroom to, ah, "relieve the pressure." I know I need help. Can you tell me what to do? Worried And Nervous Klansmen Expecting Relief
Dear WANKER: A man who will masturbate in an office sink lacks self-control. It leads to the sale (for campaign donations) of hard drives. From hard-ons to hard drives, is that the question?
Dear Micro Savage:
Er, no, that's not really the question. I'm looking for some help for my compulsive behavior. I know it's an issue of self control, but where do I start?
Thanks WANKER
Dear Wanker: As in decadent France, in the boy-man love capital of the New Whorled Order we will soon see the devolution of Liberté, Equalité, Fraternité into "Liberté, Equalité, Perversité” – while we are pulled, not led, into one thousand years of darkness.
We here at Ann Slanders are proud to bring you our special, guest commentator, Micro "Savage" Weiner. Micro is an acclaimed and beloved conservative commentator with a vast, intimate knowledge of herbal suppositories. Ann Slanders will be back soon with her regular updates (cough)!
Dear Micro Savage:
I want to throw a party for the Fourth of July, but I'm not sure what kind of accessories I need. Can you help me out? Thanks Socially Inept Conservative Klansman
Dear SICK
Here's a quick list: A blind mountain climber, welfare sponges (in all shades), a homosexual congressman calling for "fair and free trade" with the butchers of Beijing, a smiling actress (once a 10, now a 10+) introducing a Latino assemblyman in Spanish, the assemblyman giving a rousing La Raza stump speech, grandchildren galore, black reverends who outpreach the irreverent Democrat reverends, balloons (multi-colored), a ring announcer, searchlights, trophy wives getting down to the Repub-Muzak-elevator rock, gushing young entrepreneurs who made their fortunes while still in dorm rooms, and other niceties too numerous to recall.
*: All replies are the actual words of the litigous Michael Savage.
